Former NFL star Plaxico Burress has finally been released from jail, but it still may be a while before he finds out if anyone wants him back on the football field. Burress pleaded guilty to firearms charges after accidently shooting himself in the leg with an illegal gun at a nightclub in 2009. He served 22 months in prison as part of his plea agreement with prosecutors

Plaxico Burress - NYPD

After his release, Burress told reporters the first thing he wanted to do was “be reunited with my family. I want to go home and spend some quality time with them.” He also thanked his fans around the world “for their unwavering support.”

Returning to the NFL, however, is something Burress will be thinking about. “If and when everything gets settled, when they get back on the field, I’ll be ready,” Burress said.

“To miss two NFL seasons in the prime of your career, to not be with your family, most importantly, to lose out on millions and millions of dollars – these are things that have forced him certainly to evaluate his life,” Burress’ agent, Drew Rosenhaus, said in a press statement.

Still, even after missing two seasons and with his criminal record, Rosenhaus expects Jacobs will have “multiple teams interested in signing him.” Rosenhaus said he absolutely expects Jacobs to be playing for some NFL team soon — even his old tea, the New York Giants. “I wouldn’t rule out the Giants, I wouldn’t rule out any club,” Rosenhaus said.

Related: Plaxico Burress Released from Jail, Ready to Play

Frankly we’re pretty much sick of the Celebrity Apprentice and wish it would vanish into that dark, hidden world where all bad television shows eventually are consigned to. When it finally does vanish from this good Earth in a blaze of fire, we will say ‘good riddance’ and be glad to never have to hear Donald Trump say “you’re fired!” ever again. Meanwhile, however, every very rare once and a while we do get something so ridiculous from that terrible show that we can’t help but laugh – a little.

Since it is such an extremely unlikely place to find a good laugh, we decided we had to share it just for posterity’s sake. Check out this stupendously amusing 30-second commercial created by Team Backbone for ACN’s new videophone as part of the most recent battle on Celebrity Apprentice. It may have won the top spot on the show for the best ad spot, but as a standalone video it is surreal & hilarious.  Gary Busey is scary, seriously dudes.

Gossip blogger Perez Hilton found himself in the center of a wildfire on Tuesday after posting a link to a Miley Cyrus upskirt photo on his Twitter feed. The photo appeared to show the 17-year-old star’s private parts as she awkwardly exited a car and some accused Perez Hilton of trafficking in child porn for posting the image.

Perez Hilton (Photo: Tyler Curtis - Wikimedia Commons)

After being called everything from a child pornographer to a pedophile, Perez Hilton later removed the photo. He claims, however, that the photo was not child porn and he did not do anything wrong because Cyrus was obviously wearing underwear in other photos taken at the same time.

“Do you think Miley is that stupid to be out in public without panties?” Hilton said in a video post on PerezHilton.com. “Do you think I am stupid enough to post a photo of Miley if she is not wearing any underwear down there?”

Hilton said he posted the photo to demonstrate the “very unladylike fashion” of how Cyrus got out of the car with her legs spread, allowing paparazzi to snap photos of what was under her skirt.

Asked about the controversy on Ryan Seacrest‘s radio show on Tuesday, Cyrus didn’t address whether she really was wearing underwear in the photo. Instead, she said Perez Hilton posting the photo was just “some idiot being an idiot.” Then, of course, she turned the whole thing into a plug for her new album. “Isn’t it funny things like that, that are so negative, have to come out right before my record?”

We really don’t care whether the Miley Cyrus upskirt photo actually showed anything or not. We don’t care if it was a fake Photoshopped to look like she was flashing her stuff. We do care, however, that Perez Hilton would post a photo of a 17-year-old girl that LOOKED like it showed her privates. In our opinion, that is pretty much child porn no matter which way you try to spin it.

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An enormous statue known as Touchdown Jesus burned to the ground in Monroe, Ohio Monday night after it was struck by lightning. The six-story statue, officially known as King of Kings, was built by the Solid Rock Church in 2004 and was well-known as regional landmark. We can’t help but wonder what the members of the Solid Rock Church think about their giant Touchdown Jesus statue being destroyed by an act of God.

Touchdown Jesus statue in Monroe, Ohio (Solid Rock Church)

Maybe he/she thought it was unflattering, or got sick of all the semi-nasty nicknames for it. Some of our favorites include: Big Butter Jesus, Drowning Jesus and Quicksand Jesus. (And yes, there are even more nicknames.) You can probably guess most of the origins of those nicknames from the photo.

The Big Butter Jesus nickname isn’t quite as obvious, but apparently the statue had kind of an off-white buttery color under certain light. A comedian named Heywood Banks actually wrote a song called “Big Butter Jesus” dedicated to the statue.

Anyway, the huge Jesus statue was totally nuked after lightning apparently struck one of its hands and quickly consumed the rest. Apparently it was made out of Styrofoam and fiberglass – and very flammable.

The Solid Rock Church plans to rebuild the statue once it can afford to replace the $250,000 it took to make it in the first place. Personally, we think if someone up there decided to set Jesus on fire, maybe the church should think about spending that money some other way. Like feeding the homeless or clothing the poor. Just saying.

>> Related:  Giant Ohio Touchdown Jesus Statue Will Be Rebuilt

Bret Michaels‘ condition is not good, Celebrity Apprentice host Donald Trump said on Monday. Michaels is still in the ICU under 24 hour surveillance after suffering a massive brain hemorrhage last week. Michaels’ reps posted an update on the singer’s website saying he was undergoing further testing and remained in critical condition.

Donald Trump told TMZ.com Monday that Bret Micheals is in “big, big trouble and the prognosis is not great.” The former Poison front man was competing on this season of Trump’s Celebrity Apprentice before falling ill. “He turns out to be an amazing competitor,” Trump said, “and ultimately that is the thing that could save his life.”

A representative for Bret Michaels posted an update on the singer’s condition on his official website, saying he “remains in ICU under 24 hour surveillance.” Doctors have reportedly not yet found the source of bleeding in Michaels’ brain.

At the end of Sunday’s Celebrity Apprentice, a voice-over paid tribute to the singer turned reality TV star: “Everyone here at NBC wishes Bret Michaels a speedy recovery.”

We do as well.

>> Related: Bret Michaels Condition Still Critical After Brain Hemorrhage

The brother of Oscar-winning actress Mo’Nique apologized for sexually abusing his sister during an appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show on Monday. Gerald Imes said he has been denying the abuse for 30 years.

Precious star Mo’Nique did not appear on the show, but has previously spoken about the abuse she suffered from her brother. Oprah Winfrey said Mo’Nique had given her blessing for the interview with Gerald Imes.

Mo'Nique's brother Gerad Imes on 'Oprah' (ABC)

Imes claims he was also molested as a child and was an alcohol and drug addict by the time he was 11. He said the sexual abuse of Mo’Nique happened for a year or two when he was 13 and she was 7 or 8.

“I abused and betrayed the trust of another sibling, my sister, my blood sister,” Imes said during the Oprah interview. “Hopefully, somewhere, somehow, as siblings, we can come back together as brother and sister.”

We hope Mo’Nique can at least feel some sort of relief at having her brother finally admit the abuse she had to go through at his hands.

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Former Bachelor: London Calling winner Shayne Lamas, daughter of Lorenzo Lamas, got hitched in a surprise wedding in Las Vegas Sunday night. The former reality TV star reportedly married Nik Richie (of TheDirty.com) at the Little White Wedding Chapel in Sin City. The best part? Shayne Lamas allegedly only just met Nik Richie for the first time!

Shayne Lamas on 'The Bachelor' (ABC)

Shayne Lamas and Nik Richie reportedly went for the “Michael Jordan Package” wedding, a $500 deal including 36 photos and a DVD of the wedding ceremony.

Nik Richie

According to several gossip sites, the new couple is supposedly already trying to shop some of the photos out to the tabloids for cash!

You know this whole thing is just publicity pimping for Lamas. How long do you bet it will be before this love-at-first-site slam wedding will result in an “oh crap I’m sober now” annulment?

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Christian music star Jennifer Knapp spent seven years missing in action from the entertainment industry and living halfway around the world in Australia. Now the Grammy-nominated singer/songwriter is back with a new album  and a new identiy. 36-year-old Knapp has come out as a lesbian, an extreme rarity in the Christian music industry.

Jennifer Knapp

In fact, Jennifer Knapp is the now the only openly gay singer of her level in the Christian music genre. Knapp has a plan to deal with that, however. Her new album is mainstream, rather than Christian-oriented.

“I just wouldn’t find it respectful at all to say, ‘Hey this is something that you want in your store next to your Jesus statue,” Knapp said in an interview with Reuters. “It would just be disingenous to try to convince someone that they needed to do that.”

Knapp may be venturing into the mainstream, but she says she still considers herself a “person of faith” and has not turned her back on the church.

Letting Go will be released May 11 through Sony Music independent distributor RED. The album is Knapp’s fourth and her first since her 2001 The Way I Am gospel rock album.

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Conan O’Brien launched his Legally Prohibited from Being Funny on Television tour in Eugene, Oregon Monday night and fans are reporting the show was a huge hit. Critical reviews were somewhat mixed, but overwhelmingly positive on the whole.

“I am not supposed to admit this,” Conan O’Brien told the crowd when he took to the stage for the first show of his comedy tour, “but ladies and gentlemen, I really missed the applause. You have no idea how shallow I am.”

Conan O’Brien took time during the Eugene, Oregon show to poke fun at his former bosses at NBC, although few of the jabs had much serious sting to them. “I’m not allowed to say the word ‘peacock,’” O’Brien joked, “but I can say the words ‘pea’ and ‘cock.’”

The Oregonian said the show “seemed to cheerfully roll around like an out-of-control soccer ball” and Rolling Stone called the first performance of the tour “extremely funny.” While most agree there were some slow moments here and there and a few awkward jokes that fell flat, the majority called the performance a roaring success for the ginger-haired comedian.

O’Brien will be stopping in Vancouver next before coming back to the U.S. for his next show in Spokane, WA. Check out a full list of upcoming tour dates here.

Grab your tickets to Conan’s tour right now from StubHub.com!

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Pink Floyd co-founder Roger Waters has announced he will go on tour with a full performance of the band’s The Wall rock opera in concert. The Wall tour will celebrate the 30th anniversary of Pink Floyd’s legendary stage show for the album.

Roger Waters says he will gift audiences with an “updated” version of the original The Wall stage show. The 35-date tour will kick off in Toronto at the Air Canada Centre on September 15.

Roger Waters

“Thirty years ago, when I wrote The Wall, I was a frightened young man,” Waters told Spinner.com. “It took me a long time to get over my fears. In the intervening years it has occurred to me that maybe the story of my fear and loss with its concomitant inevitable residue of ridicule, shame and punishment, provides an allegory for broader concerns: nationalism, racism, sexism, religion, whatever! All these issues and ‘isms are driven by the same fears that drove my young life.”

This is one show you definitely don’t want to miss! Check out the tour dates below:
» 9/15 – Toronto, ON @ Air Canada Centre
» 9/20 – Chicago, IL @ United Center
» 9/21 – Chicago, IL @ United Center
» 9/26 – Pittsburgh, PA @ Consol Energy Center
» 9/28 – Cleveland, OH @ Quicken Loans Arena
» 9/30 – Boston, MA @ TD Garden
» 10/5 – New York, NY @ Madison Square Garden
» 10/8 – Buffalo, NY @ HSBC Arena
» 10/10 – Washington, DC @ Verizon Center
» 10/12 – Uniondale, NY @ Nassau Coliseum
» 10/15 – Hartford, CT @ XL Center
» 10/17 – Ottawa, ON @ ScotiaBank Place
» 10/19 – Montreal, QC @ Bell Centre
» 10/22 – Columbus, OH @ Schottenstein Center
» 10/24 – Detroit, MI @ Palace of Auburn Hills
» 10/26 – Omaha, NE @ Qwest Center
» 10/27 – St Paul, MN @ Xcel Energy Center
» 10/29 – St. Louis, MO @ Scottrade Center
» 10/30 – Kansas City, MO @ Sprint Center
» 11/3 – New York, NY @ Izod Center
» 11/8 – Philadelphia, PA @ Wachovia Center
» 11/9 – Philadelphia, PA @ Wachovia Center
» 11/13 – Fort Lauderdale, FL @ Bank Atlantic Center
» 11/16 – Tampa, FL @ St. Pete Times Forum
» 11/18 – Atlanta, GA @ Philips Arena
» 11/20 – Houston, TX @ Toyota Center
» 11/21 – Dallas, TX @ American Airlines Center
» 11/23 – Denver, CO @ Pepsi Center
» 11/26 – Las Vegas, NV @ MGM Grand Garden Arena
» 11/27 – Phoenix, AZ @ US Airways Center
» 11/29 – Los Angeles, CA @ The Forum
» 12/6 – San Jose, CA @ HP Pavilion
» 12/10 – Vancouver, BC @ General Motors Place
» 12/11 – Tacoma, WA @ Tacoma Dome
» 12/13 – Anaheim, CA @ Honda Center

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