America’s Next Top Model College Edition Live Recap: The Girl Who Cries Home

The first elimination on America’s Next Top Model: College Edition will happen tonight, after the strangest photo shoot yet. The aspiring models will be posing as taxidermy. Yeah, you read that right. They’ll be made up like dead animals. Uh… okay, then.

WARNING: AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL COLLEGE EDITION SPOILERS AHEAD!

This post contains spoilers from America’s Next Top Model cycle 19! Stop reading if you don’t want to know what happens!

I can only assume that this strange shoot is an attempt to get the ratings up. Even if I weren’t writing recaps of ANTM  cycle 19, I’d be tuning in for this one, just to witness the sheer ridiculosity of this. (Yes, ridiculosity is a word, because I said so.) So, perhaps it’s a bet that will pay off tonight, but it makes me question the integrity of the show.

Which I was already doing, thanks to Tyra Banks firing three long time veterans of the show - Miss J Alexander, Jay Manuel, and Nigel Barker - to try and revive the series. I guess she thinks that America’s Next Top Model: College Edition will be better off without them. I disagree. I’m already feelin’ the loss. I’d rather she have been the one to go. I think ANTM cycle 19 would be better off without her.

So, who will be the first college goer to pack up her heels and go home? Tune in to this one, folks. I have a feeling there are going to be some very entertaining moments.

Ugh, god. Tyra Banks annoyed me in the first few minutes with her ridiculous sorority girl speak. You’re a grown ass woman and a Harvard graduate. Act like it.

She showed the girls around the ANTM  house, and showed them the Tyra Suite (big surprise, she named it after herself). The girl with the highest score each week will get to stay in the Tyra Suite and have access to the fashion closet.  Side note: I’ve never seen so many cutoff denim shorts and college tees in one place.

We got to hear a bit more of the girls’ stories, and Victoria… is strange. She’s 18, and a virgin. Which is fine. Nothing wrong with that. She’s also never had a boyfriend. Okay, that’s fine, too. Late bloomer. She never wants a boyfriend. Hmm, well maybe she’s just being young and naive. She doesn’t need a boyfriend because her mother provides her with all the “stimulation” she needs. What the…

Yeah. Shit just got weird. Is this girl seriously sheltered or what? It can’t be healthy to say that you can’t see a man ever giving you anything that you don’t get from your mom. I can think of one thing in particular…

Speaking of a good pounding… the Iota Phi Theta step team greeted the ladies with a stomp routine downstairs. Judge Rob Evans told the girls to pack their bags for a trip to Hollywood. Jonte’ – or as I call him, Miss J Lite – met the girls in the club and had them get on the runway and literally strut their stuff. Jessie did quite well in my opinion (and is my favorite, she has that whole Velma vibe… jinkies!), but Maria looked bored and stuck-up.

Yvonne won the strut challenge, which was no surprise, since she threw her leg up in the air and flashed her crotch to half the room.

Ooooh, drama in the house already. Kiara told Destiny, when she was wondering why she got such a low score, that perhaps the judges thought it was too stripper. So, of course, Destiny and her eyebrows got all butthurt and started yakking about Kiara in the other room. Kiara overhead and told them that if they had something to say to her, they could say it to her face. *salute* Way to shoot straight, Kiara.

Every time they show Laura, I can’t help thinking that she looks so much like Olivia Wilde. In other words… smokin’ hot.

Photographer Johnny Wujek introduced tonight’s guest: Shenae Grimes, from 90210. She discussed the challenge with them. The girls will basically be sticking their heads through a hole in the wall, like a mounted animal head. This is an extremely limited challenge. In previous seasons of ANTM, girls have gotten tripped up because they didn’t know how to work their body during shoots. It seems this challenge is all is about how the girls’ faces photograph.

Johnny Wujek said that Victoria’s propensity to chatter on endlessly is cute but quickly tiring, and Shenae Grimes said that Jessie didn’t do as well as she could have. They weren’t too impressed with Destiny, either.

Oh, yay. More of Victoria talking about her mom. What. the. hell. She called her mom and when she picked up, she literally screamed “OH MY GOD MOM!” and sobbed the entire time she was on the phone. Someone get this girl off the teat, man!

The judges revealed their scores for each girl, and Bryanboy shared comments on the shoot’s photos from the online world.

Maria didn’t take her criticism well, and kind of backtalked the judges. Tyra told her that when lifted her chin, it instantly boosted her “modelness”. *facepalm*

Leila took the win tonight, with the highest combined score from both challenges, from judges as well as online voters. I can’t decide if I like this new scoring format. It’s a bit strange.

The two girls with the lowest scores from the strut challenge – Jessie and Destiny – ended up with the lowest overall scores as well. Destiny beat Jessie by just a few points, making Jessie the first girl to go home. Well, that sucks. I pick a favorite and she gets eliminated on the first challenge. Just call me Bad Luck Brian…

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