In the previews for this week’s episode of Keeping Up With Kris Jenner . . . wait, I’m sorry, it’s called Keeping Up With the Kardashians Season 7, we are promised that Kris Jenner will “accidentally” bump into the guy she had an affair with, an act which broke up her marriage to Robert Kardashian. We’re already promised plenty of drama as Khloe Kardashian tells Kris that when Bruce Jenner hears about it, “You know Bruce is gonna kill you”. Ya think?
WARNING: KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS SEASON 7 SPOILERS AHEAD
Please be aware this post contains Keeping Up With the Kardashians 2012 spoilers from tonight’s episode 5. Please stop here if you don’t want to know what happened!
Scott Disick, he of the club-hopping, too-much-drinking, party-until-you-drop mentality, tells Kourtney Kardashian in this episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians that he fells cooped up. He’s even coined a new word for it: fomo (fear of missing out). So Kourtney, who needs to go to sleep very early each night (because, in case Scott didn’t notice it, Kourtney is very pregnant), enlists Kim Kardashian in taking Scott out for the evening to a club because she knows Kim never stays longer than an hour or so at a club, which will limit the amount of time Scott has to get in trouble.
So they meet up with one of Scott’s friends at a club and the talk turns to babies. Kim tells the guys that, if she hasn’t had a baby by the time she’s 40, she’s going to turn to a sperm bank and asks if the sperm bank has photos. She also informs us that if she got pregnant this way – and I promise you that this is what she said – “I would feel like Mary and Jesus was my baby”. I swear, I can already hear the Catholic League gearing up to launch a campaign against Kim and the rest of the Keeping Up With the Kardashians crew.
Scott then tells Kim that they need to try some video website (which I’m loathe to mention because it appears to be populated by people intent on engaging in bad video behavior). Scott describes it as iChat with people you don’t know and in their very first interaction with someone online, Kim is asked if anyone ever tells her that she looks like Kim Kardashian. Very astute observation. This little video chatting goes downhill very quickly when it appears all sorts of people are displaying their private parts. Fortunately for us, this is all blurred out on the screen so we’re spared.
Apparently, Kim and Scott are getting along so swimmingly now that they continue partying, which comes to a screeching halt when Scott, after a night of being over-served, calls Kourtney at 2:00 a.m. to tell her that he’s had a few too many beers and has decided to be responsible and crash at Kim’s house. Kourtney, not surprisingly, is having none of that and tells Scott to call a car service and get his butt home and, 45 minutes later, we see Scott tiptoeing into Kourtney’s bedroom, expecting to be praised for coming home and instead getting Kourtney telling him that he should know better than to wake up a pregnant woman. Well played, Kourtney.
And now back to Kris Jenner and her boy toy. We learn his name tonight (which is not important) after she runs into him at a tennis club. Instead of just walking away after they say hello, she decides to wait outside the club because, in her eyes, he seems to want to say more to her. She tells us that she “can’t seem to escape my past” and the boy toy says he’s sent her e-mails over the years but she’s never responded. So what does Kris do? What any sane woman would do; she gives him her assistant’s e-mail address.
Kris hurries home and tells Bruce not only that she saw boy toy but that they had a conversation. Bruce is visibly exasperated and tells Kris that the guy “was a scumbag back then and he still is”. Not surprisingly, boy toy e-mails Kris’ assistant using his pet nickname for Kris, “snooka”. Kris, displaying a rare bit of maturity, has her assistant write back that her life is good and that she wishes him nothing but the best but apparently that’s not enough for boy toy and he wants to meet up so that they can reflect and cover some serious topics. Oh boy.
Since Keeping Up With the Kardashians would not be complete this season without continuous Kris Jenner drama, she decides she needs to meet with him to get things off her chest and tell him what he’s done to her. She’s the only one who thinks this is a good idea. When she visits Khloe in Dallas (along with Rob Jenner, making an all-too-brief appearance tonight), she tells Khloe she is going to see him and Khloe tells us that, if she wants to stay married, she won’t see the guy. Khloe appears clearly upset, recalling memories of the guy being around the house when she was 4 and knowing, even then, he wasn’t supposed to be there. But that’s not enough to convince Kris who still decides to go and, not only heads out to meet the guy wearing a very glittery jacket, but lies to Kim and Rob about it, saying she’s running errands.
(In a minor side plot of tonight’s episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Kylie Jenner and Kendall Jenner are eating spaghetti in the living room, contrary to Kris’ specific directives about no meals in that room, and spill tomato sauce on the white carpet. They try to clean it up themselves, make it worse and, fearing the wrath of their mother, they ‘fess up to Bruce who tells them to suck it up and just get it over and tell their Mom. They do, as Kris is sneaking out to meet boy toy, and because Kris is so distracted, she doesn’t make a big deal out of it at all and tells them just to call the guy who made the carpet and have it fixed.)
Back to Kris Jenner. Kim and Rob figure out where she’s going and decide to follow her car to see if she’s going to meet the guy (and we already know she is). All goes well until Rob and Kim start following the wrong car and lose Kris completely, just as she gets a phone call from the guy as she’s driving to meet him.
Not surprisingly, this didn’t get wrapped up tonight which means next week’s episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashianswill continue the boy toy/divorce/baby drama madness. Starring your favorite reality show star and mine, Kris Jenner. Sigh.