In our second night of America’s Got Talent 2012 auditions in Tampa, we’re promised a sort-of judges confrontation, with Howie Mandel championing someone while wagging a finger at Howard Stern and Sharon Osborne while saying “All America’s going to be talking about this tomorrow.” You’re mistaken, Howie, because you’ve already got us talking about it tonight, even before AGT 2012 has aired. Check back for updates, as I’ll be recapping live as the show airs.
WARNING: AMERICA’S GOT TALENT 2012 SPOILERS AHEAD
Please be aware this post contains America’s Got Talent 2012 spoilers from Tuesday night’s auditions in Tampa, Florida. Please stop here if you don’t want to know what happened!
We started off with a string of really good acts in Tampa. The Untouchables, a group of 20 or so young people between the ages of 8 and 13 took the stage after being told by their coach to give 100%. (Just a side note. After watching Lou Ferrigno on Celebrity Apprentice, I’m disappointed when people are not giving 110% any more. But that’s just my issue). The Untouchables combined very energetic dancing with some acrobatics and, as I was watching them, my thought was that I was watching a miniature Vegas review. They were awfully good and even I was shouting “Vegas, Vegas” as the judges were voting. All the judges loved them and Howard pointed out more than once to this lovely group of kids that “Puberty is your enemy”. Ain’t that the truth.
Next of America’s Got Talent 2012, we saw The Scott Brothers who were pop-and-lock dancers. They had the good sense, before they took the stage, to realize that their mantra needed to be “just like in rehearsal, only better”. Words to live by. Thought we didn’t see much of them, they were unique and original and got put through to Vegas easily.
A guy only identified, I believe, as Charlie C was given an all too-brief appearance but sang awfully well, with a very Luther Vandross-like quality to his voice. I wished they had given him more time to sing – I enjoyed him a lot.
A magician who made a motorcycle appear out of nowhere also got sent through. I’m not such a fan of magicians and I think Vegas probably already is pretty saturated with them but I have to admit making a motorcycle show up by waving a magic wand is a pretty impressive trick.
And then things started to go downhill in Tampa big time. Puppets on Hand who told us they were poised to “strike a major blow for puppeteers everywhere” were booed off the stage rather quickly, but not before Howard asked them if any of the 3 guys in the group were married or had even gone on a date in the past 6 months. Judging from the way these guys looked (and the fact that it looked like they had left their pocket protectors at home), I’m pretty sure the answer was “no”. Unfortunately, when they voted, this was the act Howie assured us in the previews that everyone would be talking about tomorrow. If we’re talking about it tomorrow, Howie, it won’t be for the reasons you envisioned.
Rangers In Reality, a terrible 3-man dancing group, showed up next and the best thing I can say about them is that they danced to my favorite LMFAO song, Party Rock. No Vegas for them. An unidentified but very uniquely garbed gentleman whose specialty was tearing paper (yes, you read that right) got the ax very quickly.
And then a guy so scary looking and so odd that I can’t find the right words to describe him told us that he was an expert at air sex and then proceeded to show us how one has air sex. He looked like the Unabomber and the most positive comment he generated from the America’s Got Talent 2012 judges was when Howard said “oy vey”. Thank you, judges, for sparing us any future sightings of Mr. Air Sex.
Captain Dan and His Scurvy Crew, the first rap buccaneers in the world (so they told us), were next and I knew this would not end well when Captain Dan told everyone in the audience to “put your hooks up”. It took a little while but eventually all 3 judges did buzz them, although Howard admitted afterwards that if they had served chicken with their act, he might have put them through to Vegas.
Our obligatory animal act for this week’s America’s Got Talent 2012 auditions, Twiggy the water-skiing squirrel, was next. Everyone headed outside to watch the squirrel water ski around a kiddie pool a few times. Somehow we had a split vote on this as Howie was all for putting the squirrel through to Vegas with his hope that who knew what the squirrel would do next. Common sense prevailed at last and Twiggy went back home with his owner.
My favorite act of the night, American BMX Stunt Team, was next. These 10 men, ranging in age from 20 to 44 and riding a combination of BMX bikes, a scooter and in-line skates, did some amazing jumps, flips and spins on 2 ramps on the AGT 2012 stage, a space they told us was ¼ of the size they’re used to performing on. They had perfect timing and were scary – but in a good way – to watch. Howard told them that he’s seen a lot of acts like theirs but they were “truly the best I have seen”. I agree and I think they’re going to go far in the competition. I’d pay to see them perform in Vegas, I really would.
A beautiful and very talented young woman, 16 year-old Lindsey Norton, was next. She’s an acrobatic dancer who performed so effortlessly and gracefully and was able to bend and move her body as if she had no bones in it at all. Lindsey received the first standing ovation of the night from the judges and Howie compared what she did to the young women who perform floor exercises at the 2012 Summer Olympics (coming soon on NBC, in case you haven’t seen the promos!) Howard told her that her act was “everything America should be about” and that she was “mesmerizing, inspirational and belongs on a stage”. You are correct, sir.
Richard the Dancing Man was next, an older gentleman who came out dancing with 2 canes and proceeded to him himself in the head several times with the canes. Somehow he got put through to Vegas. (No, not really. I was just trying to scare you there).
And, finally, our last act. Big Barry who is 4’10” (another Oompa Loompa appearance) and described himself as a 70 year-old teenager who is also a singer came out wearing a John Travolta/Saturday Night Fever-inspired white suit and black shirt. I can best describe Big Barry as sounding like Bob Dylan if Bob Dylan was 70 years old and sang pop standards. Howard buzzed him immediately but, when it came time to vote, Howie convinced Howard to change his vote and Big Barry was sent to Vegas. I’m not sure he’ll last very long because he is clearly a novelty act but he was pretty darn entertaining in a so-bad-he’s-good type of way.
Next week we have the last round of auditions before Vegas begins. The promos promise us the best act we’ve seen yet and, since we’ve seen some pretty darn good ones already, America’s Got Talent 2012 is setting a pretty high bar for next week. Let’s hope they deliver.