Tonight’s episode of Vanderpump Rules is the second part of the cast trip to New Orleans. The group’s alcohol tolerance is on full display as they make a complete fool of themselves. What further shenanigans will the cast find themselves partaking in.
It is so important to thank the producers of Vanderpump Rules showing the cast suffering from their hangovers. Continuously, the morning after conversation between Jax and Brittany is every couple in America. Personally, I always rely on my significant other to tell me what I did the night before. Of course I am not Jax Taylor and understand my flaws. The apology Brittany receives does not seem genuine. It was an apology to end the conversation. As a result, I believe the sincerity will come in to question in the future.
In the meantime, the couple at the center of the celebration awake in separate sleeping arrangements. Ironically, Lisa Vanderpump later on in the show jokingly says she doesn’t want the two of them sleeping separately. It’s funny how editing manages to capture these true gems. Furthermore, a couple getting married three weeks from the time they were in New Orleans shouldn’t be fighting as much as they were. Both Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney found themselves in dire straits after a night out drinking. As Schwartz so bluntly stated, alcohol tells one side of the story.
“The Anorexics Can Go Off”
The ladies of Vanderpump Rules find themselves in a dining establishment that is too fancy for them. Stassi planning the lunch for the girls only served her interest to brag of her knowledge of New Orleans. The bride to be Katie retorts “if only I had a Noah, not a Tom” referencing The Notebook vibes she was getting. Stassi orders a ton of seafood that subsequently disgusts both Scheana and Kristen, prompting their exit from the group. Stassi shouts as they leave “the anorexics can go off.” Such a subtle way of shading your friends.
As a result of the girls exit from the table, they continue the earlier conversation about Tom & Katie. Apparently the root issue behind their issues is the girl Tom hooked up with in Las Vegas two (2) years ago. Kristen is taking charge in stirring the pot amongst the group. Somehow, some way Scheana has found a way to turn Katie & Tom’s issues in to an opportunity to talk about her and Shay’s issues. Not everything is about you Scheana. GOSH!
Down in the Bayou
Meanwhile, the gentlemen of the group proceed to further the shenanigans partaking in an airboat ride through the bayou. We’re treated to clips of Schwartz acting a fool and falling for numerous pranks. I am pretty sure that he is also still drunk from the night before. It is further evidenced due to his appearance and wearing the same clothes from the night before. However, relationship Jax offers his expertise stating that his buddy is drinking for other reasons. The genuine fear on Schwartz’s face during the gator viewing in the airboat is hysterical, if only because we can all relate to being scared senseless. Secondly, his friends are true friends because they go above and beyond to rib him for their own (as well as America’s) pleasure.
Unfortunately, the gentlemen engage in conversation about the underlying issues between Tom and Katie. At first it appears Schwartz is crying over eating the crabs prepared for them, however there is more hurt to those tears. Secondly, someone please for the love of god give the man a bottle of water. He was sweating up a storm down in the Louisiana heat. We can all appreciate Jax apologizing (that’s not something we see often) for introducing Schwartz to the Vegas girl two years ago. Truthfully, Carter does not fully understand his place in the group. He cannot speak on matters he does not know about, especially if his source is Kristen.
“You Deserve Better!”
The real MVP of Vanderpump Rules tonight took form in Tom Sandoval. That dude goes hard for his friend. “Kristen is trying to vindicate Katie for her bad behavior”; “you sound like a battered wife”; “I’ve seen you at your best and at your worst”; “you deserve better.” These are all statements that escaped Sandoval’s mouth during the cookout. If only the two Tom’s bromance turned in to a romance. They are the definition of ride or die.
I must say that Ariana has been on point this season. She is quick to point out the flaws of the group, including her boyfriend. These men cried more than the girls on the trip, quite possibly the entire season.
“There Are So Many Gender Stereotypes Being Broken”
The bachelor and bachelorette parties taking place on Vanderpump Rules most definitely defied the gender stereotypes expected of these types of festivities. For example, a stripper danced for Katie under the guise of a cake delivery all thanks to Kristen. Paradoxically, the gentlemen received aide from local drag queens in completing their journey into drag. The results were hilarious.
Tom Schwartz became Visa Manderhump, Tom Sandoval became Jen Rod, Ariana assumed the identity of Jordan Tyler, Peter in the worst drag of them all identified as Petra Honeysuckle, and last but not least was Jax as Tina Lamar. The gentlemen’s drunken pursuits of straight women at the bar provided enough comedic fodder for the next five years. As a result of their efforts, Schwartz found himself asking where his penis was. The question served two purposes, both literally, as well as metaphorically.
“Do You Want to Go to War?”
Unfortunately the fun night out for the groups ended in chaos and mayhem per usual. Kristen, being the shitstirrer she is, pulls Schwartz aside questioning him about the girl from Las Vegas. Is it a smart idea to ask a drunk man about his pst indiscretions at 1am? This fight evolved pretty quickly to Schwzartz versus Kristen and Carter. Eventually Sandoval came to his buddy’s rescue and all hell broke loose. Schwartz is threatening Kristen asking her if she wants to go to war, and Sandoval is further antagonizing her. The best zinger of the night though belonged to Carter. During the argument between the foursome, Carter insults Sandoval telling him he “grew up to be Sia.” Very good Carter!
Schwartz, the ever agitated drunk, stumbles in to his bride to be and utters “you act like a moron and you want unconditional love” towards Katie. That is a harsh retort to tell your fiancé dude. Eventually the episode ends with Schwartz proclaiming “I’m done. I’m not marrying Katie.”
TO BE CONTINUED
Check back next week for more Vanderpump Rules airing every Monday on Bravo at 9pm.