Whenever Dance Moms brings back Cathy Nesbitt-Stein and the Candy Apples, a certain level of trashy is expected; but Dance Moms 7×12 was in a league of its own. So, how do you build a truly vomit-inducing episode of Dance Moms? It’s easy! Take two parts of the regular ALDC vs. CADC drama, and mix in a little bit of using very real, very serious issues as gimmicks. Boom! You, too, can be like Dance Moms 7×12! With the requisite drama of Abby Lee Miller’s return to Pittsburgh, precious little time before Nationals, and some potentially juicy team gossip, the ALDC had enough drama on its hands. But, for some reason, the reality series’ producers just wanted to make this episode “bigger,” I guess. Check out our Dance Moms 7×12 recap to see why that was certainly deplorable.
There’s no place like home — including home. Before digging into the basest aspects of Dance Moms 7×12, let’s pretend like this is normal. The episode opened with a very special episode of “Abby Loitering in Her Own Backyard,” complete with some quality flashbacks to the early days of Dance Moms. We saw lots of shots of baby ALDC members from seasons past and, better yet, a reminder of Abby Lee Miller’s big speech before the entire studio.
The Abby Lee Dance Company will remain here forever.
Too bad that’s what she said and not what actually happened. By the time Abby came home to Pittsburgh, just two years after that big and not-at-all-staged speech, her studio wasn’t the same. It had a new name, courtesy of its renters, and Abby’s grand homecoming was pretty dull since the place was deserted. Abby was nearly in tears as she recounted some of the original studio’s changes for the Dance Moms 7×12 audience. Despite all of the emotion, though, Abby practiced what she’s always preached.
I’m saving my tears for the pillow.
That’s our girl.
After our brief trip down memory lane and the massive feels that followed, it was time to get down to ALDC business as usual. Pyramid was a thing that caused drama — surprise! Elliana Walmsley was at the top for being beautiful in every way, but dance mom Kira Girard wasn’t happy about that. After a typical Abby pep talk, featuring the moms’ “nobody knows what we’ve gone through but us” line, Kira couldn’t hold her tongue. She picked a fight with Abby, then with Ellie’s mother Yolanda, about how Ellie didn’t deserve to be on top of the pyramid over kids who’d been with the ALDC longer.
Meanwhile, how many times has Kalani Hilliker topped the pyramid while Nia Sioux Frazier has been a million spaces below her?
Seriously, that was extra — even for Dance Moms. Because of Kiras antics, Kalani almost didn’t get to dance. Never fear, though: Kalani sassed her mom about the ridiculousness of it all, then apologized to Abby on her behalf. Hugs were even involved.
In other “typical” drama news, Dance Moms 7×12 created some tension between Camryn Bridges and the rest of the team. Check our spoiler post on this episode for a summary. Did Camryn actually say she hated the ALDC? Did Yolanda really twist her words? Do I care? Nope. At least this Dance Moms 7×12 story had a happy ending. The jury’s still out on the next one.
Jaime and Maesi Caes were back for Dance Moms 7×12, even after last week’s melodrama. Maesi wasn’t on the pyramid and didn’t dance, but she came all the way to Pittsburgh anyway. Insert something about Jaime wondering what kind of mom she’d be if she didn’t let Maesi live her dream here.
Let’s go ahead and answer Jaime’s question, though: Considering Maesi’s dream is to be part of this shitshow, I’d say Jaime would be a much better mom if she didn’t keep bringing her back for more abuse.
And here’s where it gets deplorable. Meanwhile, in Ohio, Cathy Nesbitt-Stein and the Candy Apples were preparing to battle the ALDC for the billionth time. That’s a rough estimate, but considering how much time this show has taken off of my life, I get to do make those. As is usually the case, Cathy couldn’t help but create a CADC group dance that sent a message to Abby. The difference with Dance Moms 7×12 was that it sent everyone else a message, too — and a bad message at that. A deplorable one, even.
Cathy wanted to make Pittsburgh great again by building a wall and making Abby pay for it. Or, well, that’s close enough. What I’m saying here is that Dance Moms 7×12 used Donald Drumpf’s controversial plan to build a wall around Mexico for the CADC’s group gimmick. But, you know, Cathy wasn’t here to hurt anyone’s feelings. Her wall was about Abby Lee Miller and prison; but it would just be too “cliche” to use actual prison imagery instead of a “f*ckin wall.”
By this point, I wanted to vomit. For once, it wasn’t just because Cathy’s voice gave me a migraine.
Lucky for me, Black Patsy was the voice of reason. Not so lucky for me as I watched Dance Moms 7×12, I was reminded by Jeanette Cota and…whoever the hell that other woman was…that there are a lot of people in this country who are privileged enough not to be affected by any of this. While some folks still choose to have empathy, quite a lot — including 53% of white women, which makes me hate my own skin — just flat out don’t get it.
CADC Dance Mom Number Two tried to shut down Kaya Wiley’s concerns, saying she knew Cathy just loved her and would never hurt her, but Kaya wasn’t having it. (Get it, girl.) And then Jeanette chimed in with her “this is America” crap, and I hit the roof. But anyway, I’m going to let Kaya/Black Patsy/the queen of the moment speak for herself because everything she had to say on this subject in Dance Moms 7×12 was brilliant.
At some point, it’s time for you to just really stop brown-nosing [Cathy] and look at this for what it really is. When she started talking about a wall, there is a dual meaning behind that. What’s going on with this country is who the hell this country just elected as president.
Random Mom interrupted to ask why Cathy would do that. (Seriously?) Then:
Because she’s a Trump supporter! What the hell do you mean, why would she do it? You know why she would do it! And while she has every right to feel the way she feels about that man: It does not mean he has not offended gays, and lesbians, and black people, and immigrants, and Mexicans all over this country with his beliefs and the things that he has said.
Jeanette did her rage-inducing “it’s America” thing here; but Black Patsy wasn’t having that either.
Do you know why you feel like that? You’re not a Muslim. You’re not gay. You’re not black. Your’e not a hispanic. None of that applies to you, so of course — of course! — you are not offended by it.
Then, she switched to explaining her position even more in the one-on-one clip.
They do not understand what it is like to have three strikes against you. I have had to fight for rights as a woman. I’ve had to fight for rights as a gay person. I’ve had to fight for rights being black. All I want them to do is understand where I’m coming from, even if they can’t relate.
Can I get an amen? Unfortunately not. I hate everything.
Just like when she talked about representation back in December, Kaya Wiley’s meaningful highlight of major issues was undermined by her other actions. It’s almost as if Dance Moms is trying to paint people who are into accepting others’ differences in a particular light — and it’s practically never the right one. Racism still exists, after all.
Dance Moms 7×12 buried this mother’s very real concerns under her crazy Black Patsy persona. Like, “here are this woman’s views, but don’t listen to them because she’s an angry black woman.” Kind of like how a certain media outlet forever portrays Black Lives Matter protesters as thugs. Not here for it. At all.
Making matters even worse, Cathy screeched about building her precious wall countless times in Dance Moms 7×12, which only made anyone who might be offended and/or terrified by the wall she was clearly propagandizing all-the-more uncomfortable. Deplorable. Coincidentally, the timing was horrible. See Exhibit A.
Dearest Rotten Apple Cathy: Walls are only to be celebrated when torn down. They are not something to indoctrinate children into building. But don’t take my word for it. Listen to people of Berlin, who have seen this before. Furthermore, “give us your poor, your tired, your huddle masses yearning to breathe free” doesn’t have a footnote on it. And so much for making Mexico pay.
Time to get to the dance part of Dance Moms 7×12 before I take my frustrations out on a nazi’s jaw.
Competition Day. Rotten to the core as always, Cathy Nesbitt-Stein welcomed Abby Lee Miller to Sheer Talent with a red carpet. Rather, she welcomed Abby with some classy Walmart wrapping paper. You know, the kind that sells at $3 per roll instead of $1. Kudos to dance mom Ashlee Allen for getting rid of that trash.
The venue’s lobby was the location of Dance Moms 7×12’s obligatory “Black Patsy versus dance mom Jill Vertes” screaming match. Gross as always. Abby even tried to get Nicaya Wiley disqualified over the fight; but obviously, that didn’t come to fruition. All it did was give Cathy and the Rotten Apples an excuse to start a fight in the dressing room. It was all predictably annoying.
Back in the post-real world, dance mom Holly Frazier took to twitter about…nothing actually related to what was happening on-screen.
— Holly Frazier (@DanceMomHolly) February 15, 2017
Friendly reminder that, as of Dance Moms 7×12, Holly and Nia are the only actual original team members present.
I’m exhausted. Let’s dance.
- “Peace Dove,” jazz solo performed by Nicaya Wiley of CADC. I need Nicaya to not be associated with that woman or her studio. But I digress. Nicaya had some good hip action. She was nice and sharp, and her personality made the solo fun to watch. The pirouettes were well-controlled, but that free foot in Nicaya’s a la seconde turns? Yikes. Girl, do something about that. Result: 2nd place solo. Black Patsy thought the results were shit; I’d say they came down to tiny technical details and crappy choreography.
- “I’m Already Done,” contemporary solo performed by Camryn Bridges of ALDC. The transitions were easily Camryn’s biggest issue. She telegraphed some of the bigger jumps, and it really took away from her dancing. Overall, though, the performance quality was wonderful. Really nice emotion. Camryn’s turns were generally better than Nicaya’s, but that a la seconde position killed everyone in Dance Moms 7×12. Do better, girls. Result: 1st place solo.
In case we needed a reminder: “Building the wall is a controversial topic, but the wall that we’re building is against Abby.”
Kill it. Kill it with fire.
- “Build The Wall,” CADC group contemporary. Well, that was certainly deplorable. And disgusting. Add in a twist of vomit-inducing. I couldn’t even focus on the dancing because I was too busy throwing up in my mouth. The dancers built a wall, while the audio track repeatedly told them to do exactly that. I can’t. The whole thing smacked of putting prisoners in forced labor camps, which is probably where all of those Mexicans that have been rounded up will wind up. History says so. But, like…Yay, wall? Result: 2nd place. Kind of like Dumpy in the popular vote, by about 2.8 million.
- “Ghost Town,” ALDC group contemporary. #KalaniThings™ happened here; Brynn even brought her A game, too. Regardless of some of their well-documented issues, the ALDC dances like a team. If you’re looking for something to separate these two group performances, start there. I kind of wish my girl Nia would relax a little bit, though…Result: 1st place group.
After the competition, Abby Lee Miller wanted to talk about the Camryn drama. So, she strolled in, sounding like my older sister.
I can say bad, horrible things about all of you. But I don’t want anybody else to say them.
No, really. My sister used to say the only person who could make fun of her littler sister was…her. I swear to God. The ALDC, however, didn’t need Abby as their weird big sister here. Nia jumped in to let Abby know that Camryn already cleared up her issues backstage. Because, if you’ll recall, the kids on this show are nearly always more mature than the adults. They don’t need anyone else to settle their drama for them. Boom.
Now that it was established that Camryn Bridges actually loved her ALDC teammates and Worst Ever Yolanda had twisted her words, Abby was happy to give her a team jacket. Most of the ALDC celebrated, but dance mom Kira was still salty. I smell future trouble. By “future,” I mean next week because it’s finale time.
…but you’ll have to tune in next week to know what happens there. That’s it for Dance Moms 7×12, folks!
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